Given his performance I thought he was undermining Hillary from the beginning. Not that I had a problem with that...
In what some Democratic Party insiders are calling a particularly ominous sign for Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign, former president Bill Clinton today became the latest superdelegate to switch from Sen. Clinton to her rival, Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill).
Sources close to the former president said that Mr. Clinton had been mulling such a defection for weeks, as early as the night of the Iowa primary, but that he only decided to make his decision public today.
"The American people want change," Mr. Clinton said at a press conference in New York. "Lord knows I do."
The former president said that "sometimes, at the end of a race, you have to put an old horse down," adding, "I'm not speaking metaphorically."
Mr. Clinton fueled speculation that he was seeking a role in an Obama administration, saying, "I know my way around the Oval Office, and I know how the super-secret double-lock works."
The former president said he would relish a return to the White House, calling his tenure there "good times."
For her part, Sen. Clinton said that the defection of her husband would not deter her from staying in the race, adding, "To my knowledge, he's the only white voter Sen. Obama has."
The New York senator denied that she was playing the race card, arguing, "Every other member of my family is supporting me, and by the way, they're white."
Elsewhere, a defiant John McCain said that his wife will not release her tax returns, "and neither will my girlfriend."
Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, BorowitzReport.com.
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Given his performance I thought he was undermining Hillary from the beginning. Not that I had a problem with that...
Next chapter: Hillary claims quantum physics proves she's still a contender.
Citing the famous thought experiment called "Schrodinger's Cat" after its author, Austrian physicist Erwin Schrodinger, Sen. Clinton compared the Democratic Primary to Schrodinger's black box and all votes cast to the famous kitty inside the box.
Just as the experiment proved the kitty was both alive and dead at the same time until the black box was actually opened, so the Democratic Primary proves Hillary's chances are both alive and dead until she herself -- and no one else -- opens the black box and counts the dead cats or actual votes or both.
Until the box is opened, it's also possible it contains nothing but sour grapes. Time will tell. Possible next Clinton campaign standard in case of unfavorable black box results, demand for revotes in all primaries using, this time, a white box.
Albeit with a minor credibility element.
Scary - but hil-arious!
Nice parody! Would that it were true.
Funny stuff Andy, you got some laugh with HRC and McCain. No joke on Obama? There must be
good 57 state joke in your head somewhere. OK I understand now you dont want his pit bulls on
you.
Hey - it's an article on the internet so it must be true. This article will work wonders on people who read the Obama is a muslum and believed it.
Hillary may have lost Bill but David Duke just announced he is endorsing Hillary so it balances out.
You're going places kid! Good job.
The next step in the 'do everything, say anything' campaign will be to try to secure the best job for Hillary.
So she will get into the White House again.
Just not in the manner that she at first imagined.
If I were Obama I would put her in charge of implementing the universal health care initiative.
35 years of experience....should be a walk in the park...
;-)
Obama-Kennedy 08!
Desperation and Tricks. Throw it out there just like all the other Clinton stuff. Guess they
sat and plotted this just so that if she loses there would still be one in the white house? Dream on you Clintons. Desperation, race baiting and no class. How very sad.
He started this massive white versus black in the first place.
Here is a quote from his lovely wife "For her part, Sen. Clinton said that the defection of her husband would not deter her from staying in the race, adding, "To my knowledge, he's the only white voter Sen. Obama has."
How very sad this whole issue is but isn't that always the way. When people are under great pressure, their true souls and integrity show up.
From the White
Go Obama Go.
Very clever - you are one funny guy, Andy. It won't be long before Hillary joins her rogue husband supporting Senator Obama. Hillary would make a great Secretary of State - Bill could interview potential interns...
DO NOT BELIEVE THIS,...................AND if it is true, it means BAD things.
LOL! I'll bet you actually think that Brownie did a heckuva job too?
Sheesh! There's always at least one!
NAMI,
I guess you don't know what satire is?!?!!?!?
Satire:
1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.
2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.
And how will the Clintons exit? Metaphorically consider the final slow-motion scene of Bonnie & Clyde. Warren Beatte and Faye Dunaway in the front seat of course stand in for Hillary & Bill while their companions in the back seat James Carville and Mary Matalin ( who's just along for the ride); the source of the shots being fired off camera is the super delegates. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
That's image is hilarious.
Way cool, nice ending to a great week. Thanks.
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Posted May 9, 2008 | 09:00 AM (EST)